How To Create The Perfect 1st Meeting Between The Children In A Blended Family!

When is the right time

Are you looking for tips on how to create the perfect meeting between the children in your new blended family? Then, you came to the right place. Over a little more than a month after Frank and I met, we both decided it was time the four boys met each other. Was it a little too early? Looking back now, it might have been. But, knowing what I know now, we should have waited a little longer. Frank and I already knew that we were in it for the long-term, but I think the boys might not have yet grieved the end of their parent’s relationship.

The 5 step of grieving the end of their parents relationship

Both our previous relationships were well over before we left our homes.  Unfortunately, it had only ended six months prior when I decided to leave for my children. The same goes for Frank’s children, as they all lived in the same house for close to a year throughout their separation before they moved away. This had occurred about eight months before we met.

Looking back, I realize how crucial this first meeting was. To give your children the best chance to bond and eventually feel a sense of attachment with your new partner, only introduce them to the other family members once you are confident that this new relationship will last. Make sure both partners are ready for this steppingstone.

Divorce is one of the hardest life events for an adult to go through; I cannot imagine its impact on all the children involved. Like us, children will also go through a grieving cycle of their own. You probably have already heard of the five steps within the grieving cycle:  denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. It is a unique journey for everyone, and there is no precise formula and timeline. Knowing this, you can help your children cope during their grieving process so they can move forward healthily. For example, meeting new people who might become future family members should be done after reaching the last step, acceptance.  This will put forth the best chance for a smooth start for your blended family.

There is no exact timeline for determining the right time to introduce the two families. You know your children the best, and if you have the child’s best interest in mind, there is no wrong or right time.

Where is the right place

We decided to choose a neutral and safe place for the four boys to meet. Frank and I wanted an informal place, somewhere they could talk a little or remain quiet if they wished. We did not want the meeting to last all day, so we chose a place all of them liked while considering their ages and interests differences. We ended up taking them to the movie theatre. All 4 of them wanted to see the movie playing that day. I was a little nervous and could not even remember the movie’s name we saw.  

Children 1st Meeting
The four boys admired the duck while we were on a bike ride.

At the main entrance, I met Frank and his children, Xavier and Jacob, and they were introduced to Benjamin and Nicholas. They hadn’t talked to each other much that day, but overall, it went well. We did not have any expectations, and I think it helped us not be disappointed. We all know that we don’t love someone momently. It takes time to learn to know someone.

Activities for the first meeting

Here is a list of places I think are great for creating the perfect meeting between the children depending on the kids’ interests and ages. The important part is to choose a place ALL of them will love. This will give a positive start to this new Journey.

-The park

-Skating rink

-Pottery/Craft café

-Outdoor Music Festival

-Kayak/water boat

-Go-Karts

-Ice cream shop

You can follow us through our ongoing Journey for more ideas under Activities in our menu. And please share your ideas. We love hearing from you.

Follow us on our journey as a blended family of 6.

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29 thoughts on “How To Create The Perfect 1st Meeting Between The Children In A Blended Family!

  1. I’ve never experienced something like this, however, I can see how important this first meeting is for the kids. Excellent advice.

  2. I can just imagine how important that first meeting is! I think I would have waited a little longer as well, just because I am more of a cautious go slow kinda person. Looks like it all went well in the end, however!

  3. It is hard on children and combining families together can be a delicate matter. You both handled it great! Good job, and I’m happy that you both have found joy and happiness together.

  4. I’ve never really thought about the kids meeting for the first time in a blended family. I think this post explains perfectly the right way to do it. There is definitely a right time and place!

  5. This is so important! Divorce is really challenging for kids and taking that next step of introducing them to a new family needs to be done the right way to ensure a smooth transition.

  6. This was such a difficult journey for your boys, but it seems that you’ve worked so hard to lighten their load. I love your suggestions on fun activities for a first meeting. This is an important topic for so many.

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