My thoughts
My name is Cecile, and I’m a Mom and a StepMom. If you ask me: Do Stepmoms deserve to be celebrated on Mother’s Day? My answer is Hell Yes! Any woman who plays the part of a positive role model in child life is worth celebrating. Unfortunately, Mother’s Day is a very emotional day and full of disappointment for many Stepmoms in our society.
With over 567,270 children in Canada living in a blended family (Statistic Canada) and 1300 blended families formed every day in the US alone (The Stepfamily Foundation), we can imagine how many Stepmoms they are around us.
Celebrating Stepmoms on Mother’s Day
My husband thinks that these occasions are too commercialized. To be honest, as much as Mother’s Day is commercialized, I think it gives us an occasion to reflect and honour all the mothers and mother figures in a family and their influences throughout our society. Life is so busy, and if there were no days to celebrate these events or occasions, I wonder if we would ever stop and make the time on our own to do so.
My Story
My two Stepsons don’t know how or show appreciation toward me on Mother’s Day. I never received a card, a gift or a simple “Happy Mother’s Day.” However, it never bothered me that much since my two biological sons always compensated and made me feel extra special on Mother’s Day. They bring me coffee in bed and cards, and I get a lot of affection. I always knew that my stepsons appreciated my effort in their own ways, and it was nothing personal, just a way they were brought up. They also already had a mother, and I was never there to replace her.
One Day To Knowledge Our Efforts
However, this got me thinking about how I would have felt if none of the four boys had ever shown any appreciation on Mother’s Day. I also wondered how I would feel if I never had any biological sons of my own. I would have felt very differently. We, stepmom, do our very best to raise our children and stepchildren, and we only want one day for our family and others to acknowledge our efforts. No Mom or Stepmom should ever feel unappreciated, especially on Mother’s Day.
My Advice To You
Unfortunately, we have no control over others on how they decide to celebrate us on Mother’s Day. Having high expectations can really ruin this day, so let me tell you something that you really need to hear: Just because the celebration you are about to receive or have received (or the lack of) on Mother’s Day is not what you expected, it doesn’t determine your worth as a Stepmom, the love your stepchild has for you or the impact you have on their lives.
”Just because the celebration you are about to receive (or the lack of) on Mother’s Day, it doesn’t determine your worth as a Stepmom, the love your stepchild has for you or the impact you have on their lives.”
-Cecile Leger
Here is my tip to make this Mother’s Day easier for you this year: Expect less and make this day about yourself. Plan a day to do something you love.
Here are some ideas:
- Buy yourself your favorite flowers. Who says someone else needs to buy them for us?
- A day at the Spa.
- Buy a great book and spend the day reading.
- Buy something that will make your life easier. I bought myself an Instant Pot. It’s a time saver for a family of 6.
- Stay in bed a little longer that morning. Ask your partner to take care of the kids. Communicating want we want to our partners may surprise you with how happy they will be to make us feel special.
One thing for sure, I don’t think we should be cleaning or doing any house chores on Mother’s Day. Do you agree?
Final Thoughts
Mother’s Day can be a challenging day for some StepMoms. We sure do deserve to be celebrated on Mother’s Day. Being a Stepmom is one of the most challenging roles in our society. However, how others choose to honour us on Mother’s Day doesn’t define us and how valuable we are as Stepmoms. This year, make this day about yourself and plan something that will make you happy!
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Cecile XO
Excellent post! I’m not a stepmom but I have a stepmom and mother and I celebrate both on Mother’s Day. My father passed away 12 years ago however my stepmom has been in my life since I was 9 years old. She’s part of my family, another grandmother to my kids and invited to all family gatherings.
That is so great to hear. 🤗
Mothers Day is tricky for step moms and biological moms. Isn’t it crazy how we think celebrating moms one day a year is enough.
I agree with you. We should be grateful for people around us more often.
I believe stepmoms should be celebrated. I have been one and my children have one. We ALL are in this together! While there have been times my “step kids” have not done anything for me on Mother’s Day, that’s alright! They show their love 💗 all the other days of the year!
I love the way you see things. And of course they show us in different ways. 🤗
I love that you say the celebration does not determine your worth! That is so true! Stepmom’s definitely deserve to be celebrated though!
Yes they do. I believe any woman who plays a positive role model in a child’s life is worth celebrating.
I agree we shouldn’t need to do chores on Mother’s day! I love these tips, especially knowing that if it doesn’t reach your expectations, it doesn’t mean you are any less loved.
I’m so glad you like it Megan.