Ella's Blended Family

Where This Passion Comes From

Since I was a teenager, I’ve been fascinated by human relationships—especially families. I wanted to understand why being with someone can sometimes feel so easy, and other times feel incredibly hard. Why some homes feel safe and grounding, while others feel tense or uncertain.

Research consistently shows that children who grow up in healthy family environments are less likely to experience mental and physical health challenges later in life. Healthy families are the heart of strong communities. And at the core of every healthy family is one essential thing: a sense of safety and love.

When children feel safe—emotionally and physically—they are far more likely to grow into confident, resilient adults. That belief isn’t just professional for me. It’s deeply personal.

Growing Up in a Step Family

I was raised by a single mom. My biological father chose not to be involved in my life. Yet, despite that, I never once felt like a burden. I was surrounded by love—by my mom, my grandparents, and our extended family.

Later, my mom met the man who would become my stepdad. To me, he is simply my dad. He loved me unconditionally, almost immediately. We didn’t have an easy life—there were challenges, financial stress, and hard moments—but I never felt like I shouldn’t exist. I never felt unwanted.

That experience shaped me.
It’s what I wish for every child.

So when I divorced the father of my children in 2013, stepping into a blended family wasn’t foreign territory—but it was still one of the hardest things I’ve ever done.

The Pain No One Prepares You For

Watching my children hurt after the separation was heartbreaking. Sharing weekends. Missing half their lives. Knowing our family no longer fit the “traditional” mold.

Divorce was never part of my dream.

When I met Frank, I knew that if we were going to build a blended family, we needed the right tools. But what I quickly realized was how little support actually exists for stepfamilies.

Then I came across a statistic that stopped me in my tracks:
Nearly 70% of stepfamilies fail.

I was devastated.

So I did what I know how to do—I researched. I read every study, book, and article I could get my hands on. I wanted us to succeed, not just for us, but for our children. I refused to let us become a statistic.

This year, we are celebrating 12 years as a blended family—and we’re doing well.

Why I Stopped Writing

Ella’s Blended Family was created to give stepfamilies something I wish I had: guidance, tools, reassurance, and hope.

But life happened.

Our family faced challenges—not because of our blended family structure, but challenges that shook me deeply. And a quiet voice crept in:
If I’m struggling, who am I to help others?

Imposter syndrome took over.

I stopped writing.
I stopped posting on social media.
I stopped working on the 6-week program I had dreamed of putting online.
I even stopped taking family photos.

I felt stuck. Frozen. Silent.

What Changed

Today, something feels different.

I’ve completed the 6-week French online course, and I’m currently working on the English version. Our family is in a more grounded place. And I’ve learned an important truth:

I don’t need to be perfect to help others.

I can share strategies even if I didn’t apply all of them perfectly. In fact, many of these tools came after we made mistakes. This blog and this program are not about changing everything overnight or following a rigid formula.

They are about showing you what’s possible—and letting you choose what works best for your unique family.

Where We Are Now

So here we are.

The four boys are now 21, 19, 18, and 16, growing into kind, thoughtful young men.
Ella—our dog and the heart behind this blog—is now 6 years old and currently taking therapy training classes so she can begin visiting hospitals and schools.
Frank is working incredibly hard as the head director of a game studio. At this very moment, he’s stuck in Toronto for work, and we can’t wait for him to come home.

Life is full. Imperfect. Real.

And I feel ready to write again.

What’s Next for Ella’s Blended Family

I want to share again.
I want to teach again.
I want to help families build healthier homes—because families are the roots of growth, and strong families shape healthier societies.

If you’re here, thank you for being part of this journey.

I’d love to hear from you:

• What challenges are you facing in your blended family?
• What topics would you like me to write about?
• What support do you wish you had?

This space is for you—and I’m so glad to be back. 🤍

If this story resonates with you, you’re not alone.
Leave a comment, send me a message, or let me know what you’re struggling with right now. Your story matters here. Follow us at : ellasblendedfamily.com