The Day I Met Someone New!

Jan 11 2014

Meeting Frank

The Coffee Date

Today is the day I met someone new. The house was noticeably quiet as the boys were gone to their father’s place for the weekend. I was getting ready for a blind date with Frank at a local coffee shop I loved in our community. I had been with my ex-husband for almost 15 years, so it had been a long time since I had a “first date”. To be honest I was a little nervous and excited as the same time.

Its was raining that day and the roads were very slippery, on my way out I was in a car accident. Luckily, I was not hurt but my car was not drivable. Can you imagine that my dad ended up driving me to meet Frank that day? I am very thankful he did!

As soon as I walked in the coffee shop, I spotted him sitting at a table quietly smiling at me. It was like my soul said: finally, there you are, I have been looking for you. We hit it off right away.

Leaning to know each other via Facetime

We did not have the luxury of going on dates every weekend to get to know each other as much as we wished since we both had kids. FaceTime became part of our routine almost every night while the kids were in bed.

I had no idea how to navigate this new adventure. I started searching the internet about blended family and how to handle the important steps of this new journey the right way. Another important question was “How should the 4 boys meet for the first time so we can give us a fighting chance to make this work for all of us?”.

Blended family VS ”First Family”

One thing I have learned and can say with certainty today, is a blended family is much different then a “first family”. Therefore, you cannot expect it to be the same. It’s like comparing apples to oranges. Trying to make your blended family a replica of your first family or your ideal family might bring confusion, frustration, and disappointment to all of the new family members. Instead try to embrace the differences and keep in mind your list of things that are important for you.

The day you meet someone new, jump-in with an open mind without settling for less. Keep in mind that both families will make compromises as this will become the new normal. My research found that they say it takes 2-7 years for a blended family to actually “meld” together.  Being proactive and patient can help smooth each steps of this exciting new journey…

…and let the blending begin!